I am tired of having to explain to grown men that random, unrelated women do not want your opinions and judgements on the choices that they make in their lives. Not unless they ask for it. That accosting and deriding a woman for her choices cannot be explained away as “enjoining good and forbidding evil”.
Hymen does not equal virginity. Contrary to the narrative that has been stressed through our lives, being a virgin means that a woman has not had sex with a man, yet. The bleed-test is not accurate for many reasons. First of all, many women don’t bleed the first time they have sex because their hymens could have torn earlier in their lives during exercise or bike accidents without them even knowing.
I don’t remember doing anything fun for Eid. Even when they would go for the Durbar (hawan sallah), we didn’t join them. Not once. I remember washing plates until my fingers wrinkled, climbing stairs with heavy trays until my thighs burned, getting cut by knives, getting injured by metal colanders, and burning my hands on hot pots. That is what Eid was for me.
A large number of Muslim men who advocate for women’s right to wear the hijab do not think of the hijab as a right. They are not fighting for the Muslim woman’s right to self-determination and freedom of choice. These men show harsh judgment and intolerance towards Muslim women who do not wear Hijabs.
There is a quiet, unspoken belief that a woman’s place in a man’s home is defined by her duties, not by her presence.
We are tired and angry that men use our labour to prop themselves up in positions of influence and leadership. We are angry that our voices keep getting silenced. We are angry that our feedback and calls for accountability are continually ignored.
Women need not be held to the unrealistic standards of the Ideal Muslimah, who by the way, is a fictional character with roots not unrelated to passive misogyny. The Ideal Islamic culture is not one of cancel culture, but one of constant repentance and improvement.
Obviously a child with pink glittery heels is not going to want to go outdoors and jump in puddles and catch ladybirds in the garden, be it a boy or a girl. Put boys in those shoes and see how many are suddenly not running around anymore. Put girls in good shoes and see how many are no longer playing with Barbies and cooking with a toy kitchen set.
It is at socials like these, where exclusion towards Muslims is often heightened, with drinking culture being mostly to blame. In the corporate field, it is no surprise that drinking is the primary way teams socialise. It boosts staff morale, strengthens personal relationships and in some cases, even gives employees a deeper insight into the business and clientele itself. But for non-drinkers like myself, these occasions are approached with dread. I sometimes feel my seniors are closer to the other juniors in our team as they regularly join them for after-work drinks, whereas I do not. Consequently, causing me to worry that my career progression will be negatively impacted.
Islamophobia exists in Canada and it has existed for a long time, to the point that it has become normalised, whether people realise it or not. This is why we need to have laws protecting people from acts of hatred. Because children are not responsible for having to recognise acts of hatred and speak out against it.
