This essay is the second in our February Healthy Relationships Series
I still remember the sting of her words. “You’re being too sensitive,” she said, rolling her eyes. “It’s not that deep.” I felt like I’d been punched in the gut. The air was knocked out of me, and I couldn’t breathe.
It was a moment that would repeat itself over and over again in my life. A friend would dismiss my feelings, minimize my experiences, and leave me feeling small and insignificant. And each time, I’d wonder if there was something wrong with me. Was I really being too sensitive? Was I overreacting?
But as I grew older, I realized that those words weren’t just about me – they were about the people who spoke them. They were about the friends who didn’t know how to listen, who didn’t know how to hold space for my emotions. They were about the people who made me feel like I was a burden, like my feelings were too much to handle.
I remember the first time I felt truly seen and heard by a friend. She listened to me without judgment, without interruption. She validated my feelings, even when she didn’t understand them. And in that moment, I felt like I could breathe again. I felt like I was home.
That’s what true friendship feels like. It feels like being wrapped in a warm blanket on a cold day. It feels like being held by someone who cares, someone who sees you, someone who hears you. It feels like being truly alive.
As women, we’re often socialized to prioritize others’ feelings over our own. We’re taught to be nurturing, to be caring, to be selfless. But what about our own feelings? What about our own needs? What about our own desires?
It might seem inconsequential, but emotional invalidation has a massive impact on our self-esteem. It communicates that we do not matter at all, that nothing we say matters. The friend who invalidates your feelings and experiences does not actually care about you. Friends who refuse to acknowledge that they’ve hurt your feelings are not the kind of people you want to call “friend “. As a matter of fact, we need to be very careful with the way we throw the F-word around.
We’ve been told that women are each other’s worst enemies. But that’s a lie we’ve been sold for far too long. We’re witnessing a revolution – a movement that’s calling for true sisterhood. Women are rising up, investing in strong female friendships, and changing the narrative.
But here’s the thing: we can’t just accept any old friendship. We need to raise the bar. We need to demand more from ourselves, our friends, and our community. Because when we accept toxic behaviors from our “friends,” what we’re really saying is that we don’t love or value ourselves.
True friendship is about feeling safe, seen, and heard. It’s about having someone who will show up for you, no matter what. It’s about having someone who will validate your feelings, even when they don’t understand them.
We don’t need to have walked in someone’s shoes to understand their pain. We just need to be willing to listen, to empathize, and to support. Because that’s what sisterhood is all about.
So, let’s make a pact to prioritize our own emotional well-being. Let’s surround ourselves with people who uplift us, who make us feel seen and heard. Let’s create a culture of true sisterhood, where women support, uplift, and celebrate each other.
We are worthy of love, respect, and validation. We are worthy of friendships that make us feel alive, that make us feel like we’re home. And we are worthy of taking up space, of being heard, and of being celebrated.
It’s time for us to redefine what sisterhood means to us. It’s time for us to prioritize our own emotional well-being. It’s time for us to surround ourselves with people who see us, who hear us, who validate us. It’s time for us to create a culture where women can speak their truth without fear of being silenced or dismissed.
My feelings matter. Your feelings matter. Our feelings matter. Let’s make sure we’re surrounding ourselves with people who know that.
