I had placed my husband too dangerously close to Almighty Allah, and I had all these high hopes and expectations of him that I had forgotten that he was human, too, and that he could be influenced, selfish, and prone to mistakes, misdeeds, and forgetfulness.
Unfortunately, there’s still an uproar from many Muslims today when women choose to exercise this right from Allah and suggest conditions that are completely halal and acceptable. Men are able to divorce women on a whim, when angered, out of boredom, or because their wife is infertile, but women are dragged through hell and back just so they don’t die at the hands of their abuser. If a man can leave his wife because he so desperately wants children, why is a woman seen as heartless for the same thing?
The more addicted I got, the lonelier I became and the more I hated my body in ways I didn’t think was possible. I directed so much hurt and vitriol to my body for not looking like what I watched.
