Year: 2021

My Counsellor Told Me that Women Were Created to Serve Men: On the Pressure to Get Married at Thirty-Two
The Tone Up

My Counsellor Told Me that Women Were Created to Serve Men: Recounting My Awful Experience

At some point in my sessions, I decided to show up only mindlessly, registering my displeasure by scowling and asking fewer questions. I reached this decision after the diminutive counsellor had said “Husbands forcing themselves on their wives is not rape”. I had afterwards asked him to define rape. He was angry at my audacity. He did not appreciate being questioned.

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Kiyonah Mya Buckhalter is Travelling the World Solo as a Niqab-Wearing Muslim Woman
The Feature

Kiyonah Mya Buckhalter is Travelling the World Solo as a Niqab-Wearing Muslim Woman

I always say, “each country holds a piece of you waiting to be discovered, and travelling is the key.” All 24 countries I either lived in or visited for a short period have exposed new personality traits in myself, revealed specific weaknesses or difficulties, and allowed me to reflect on the impact I have on other people’s lives. The world’s beauty reminds me that paradise is a million times more beautiful, which helps me stay grounded. Travelling helps me see the world as a global family, and we should be kind and loving to one another.

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Getting Out Of My Abusive Marriage Was The Best Decision Of My Life
The Tone Up

Getting Out of My Abusive Marriage Was the Best Decision of My Life

My decision is to not let him walk all over me anymore. My decision is to be free. My decision is to be happy. My decision is to erase him from my life. My decision is to free myself from the judgements of his family and him. My decision is clear now more than ever. This is the best decision that I took for myself in my life.

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Halet Çambel: The Muslim Woman Who Competed in the Olympics And Refused to Meet Hitler
The Spotlight

Halet Çambel: The Muslim Woman Who Competed in the Olympics And Refused to Meet Hitler

Çambel’s intellectual capacity had always been running in front of her academic identity as an archaeologist. She may have written fewer publications than many, but has left behind monumental institutions, trajectories in managing, and, more significantly, a generation inspired by her vision.

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Eid Celebrations Back Home Meant More Chores for Women
Editor's Picks

Eid Celebrations Back Home Meant More Chores for Women

As a brown woman in a traditional South Asian Muslim home, there was much I bristled against almost constantly. The unacknowledged labour was not just expected but demanded from me. The requirement to keep my mouth shut in deference even if an older person, especially a man, was disrespectful, discriminatory, or just plain wrong in their frequent pontification. To always, always, always think of the collective – the family, the parents, the husband, the society, before my own needs or wants – because everyone matters. Everyone except me.

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Why, As Muslim Women, Our Anger Should be Expected and Normalised
The Tone Up

Why, As Muslim Women, Our Anger Should be Expected and Normalised

We are tired and angry that men use our labour to prop themselves up in positions of influence and leadership. We are angry that our voices keep getting silenced. We are angry that our feedback and calls for accountability are continually ignored.

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The Ideal Muslimah Does Not Exist: Shattering the Unrealistic Archetype of the Muslim Woman
The Tone Up

The Ideal Muslimah Does Not Exist: Shattering the Unrealistic Archetype of the Muslim Woman

Women need not be held to the unrealistic standards of the Ideal Muslimah, who by the way, is a fictional character with roots not unrelated to passive misogyny. The Ideal Islamic culture is not one of cancel culture, but one of constant repentance and improvement.

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The Tone Up

The Politics of Footwear and the Sinister Designs of Patriarchy

Obviously a child with pink glittery heels is not going to want to go outdoors and jump in puddles and catch ladybirds in the garden, be it a boy or a girl. Put boys in those shoes and see how many are suddenly not running around anymore. Put girls in good shoes and see how many are no longer playing with Barbies and cooking with a toy kitchen set.

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Navigating the Corporate World as a First-Generation Black Muslim Woman
The Tone Up

Navigating the Corporate World as a First-Generation Black Muslim Woman

It is at socials like these, where exclusion towards Muslims is often heightened, with drinking culture being mostly to blame. In the corporate field, it is no surprise that drinking is the primary way teams socialise. It boosts staff morale, strengthens personal relationships and in some cases, even gives employees a deeper insight into the business and clientele itself. But for non-drinkers like myself, these occasions are approached with dread. I sometimes feel my seniors are closer to the other juniors in our team as they regularly join them for after-work drinks, whereas I do not. Consequently, causing me to worry that my career progression will be negatively impacted.

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'We Are Lady Parts': Muslim Representation Finally Done Right
Editor's Picks

‘We Are Lady Parts’: Muslim Representation Finally Done Right

What stands out to me about ‘Lady Parts’ as a show is that it exemplifies Muslims as not being a monolith. Instead of being reduced to one stereotype, they’re allowed to exist freely as who they are, accurately reflecting the melting pot of different individuals that form the religion. This subsequently allows Muslim women to reclaim their power — they’re allowed to just be, beyond their religious identity.

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